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After reading all about us, you may wonder "why on Earth would anyone read this junk". Well, you just did! Hahahahaha!
Well, although you did not ask us to, and now you are probably screaming in terror as there is more to read, we are going to type out our story. Okay. If you need to get a drink or go to the bathroom or anything, do it now. All settled? Okay! Now, here we go!
Oh, before we begin, this is all extremely important facts and you should MOST DEFINATELY take notes. It'll REALLY help you on your exams, so you won't have to copy off the person beside you who is really a total moron but looks like they know what they're doing (they're really counting the ceiling tiles). (When they already know there's 121). (And that's based on personal experience, instead of my wide knowledge of tile ceilings in general).
Several million years ago, the first molecule appeared on Earth. Then a bunch of other stuff happened, but none of that is interesting nor significant, so I'll leave it out and go onto the "Second Important Event". The Second Important Event was when two Senegal Parrots "did the deed". Why? Because that's how I was made, dummy! Anyway, they had some lovely chicks. I was the loveliest, obviously.
Roughly twelve years later, a much more important event happened. Two gorgeous fiery-shouldered conures "got it on". They were my Mum and Dad, and I, Petrie, was hatched.
And a year after that happened, the most amazing event by far occured. The Earth was blessed with me, Figaro. How it got on without me, I shall never know.
Two years after that happened, the magical cheeseball of happiness flew through the sky, and everyone danced and sang because, at last, they - Wait, that's not it. Hmm. What was it? Oh yes! I was hatched!
And one year later, I was hatched. Okay, that's enough of that. Hey, Figaro, wanna come over to my cage, ladies?
After that, I was sold to a pet store. A man bought me as a present for his daughter. They kept me in a small, rusted budgie cage with my only toys being half of a swing and some chunks of wood and rubber on a hanging chain and a bell. The cage was rarely cleaned, and I was fed mostly seeds and colourful bits of God knows what. Oh, and breadsticks, of course. With sesame seeds on them. Anyway, after fifteen years, the daughter moved away to Brazil to be a vet. She had a baby down there and blah blah blah, the parents needed to go down and apparently, they "couldn't take me with them". I secretly think they didn't want me anymore. But I'm so cute and lovable, why wouldn't they? Get this, they thought I was a Conure. A CONURE!?!! I'm HIGHLY insulted!! I wouldn't be caught dead sharing the same species as Petrie. Anyway, I was sent to these whackjobs in a cramped, smelly house full of garbage bags and plucked Cockatoos which they called an "avian rescue", but I won't go into that.
I was sold, unweaned, to my first love, Julie, who, at the time, was sixteen. She raised me from a little baby and I loved her so much...
The breeder sold me, along with my brothers and sisters and friends, to a PetSmart store. We were shoved all together in a small plastic cage thing. I was truly SHOCKED to be mixed with the "common" budgies (to put it tactfully...you know what I mean). Obviously, I was much more important than they were and should have had an aviary to myself! The nerve!
Then, I was sold to a pet store too. Wow, I was chosen to go there! I mean, out of all the budgies, ( well, all of us went, but still ) I went! It was sort of cramped in that cage though.
Anyway, ladies, I also went to a pet store. I was fine with it. Loads of nice hens, if you get what I mean.
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